A BIG GRAND OPENING
by Paul Young
Come help us celebrate the grand opening of a super-size public relations store.
Grand opening special: You get two for the price of one.
Our hookers are male, female, and others.
All our hookers, are organic, gluten free, and are green minded; they only hand out green condoms, and they are GMO free.
All our hookers were made in the USA, but we do have a few that our international.
All our hookers are registered with the state and local health department and are examined every six months.
At the end of their lives, they donate their bodies to the C.D.C.
Our hookers have their own union.
Half of our profits go to our nursing home for hookers.
Now here is more about our hookers and our store.
Mondays are, bring in a friend day, and the friend gets in free.
You can sign up for our frequent user points, the points can be used towards things in our store.
In a hurry, Use our drive through.
We have old and young hookers, so we can match you up with your age group.
Saturday is cheap day; all our hookers are under twenty dollars. They are only nineteen ninety-nine.
Are you shy or nervous? Ask to see one of our hooker therapists when you visit our store.
An app for everything;
Not up to coming in, down load our store app to have someone to stand in for you.
You can feel secure knowing that your information is safe, because we have hack free computers.
When you are in the store, sign up four our international brothel charge card, the card is accepted at all four-star brothels around the world.
Do you travel around the US? If you do, look for our road side service centers.
The service centers offer the same great service you get in our store; you can use your hooker store charge card.
We close for two weeks in the summer, so we can attend the H-69 Summit. It is a summit attended by hookers from around the world to discuss prices and other related topics.
One of our long-time hookers is leaving to run for president, now that we know anyone can run for president. We wish this person the best of luck.
Coming soon; a hooker fringe festival.
One night a month we will have hooker bingo; winners will receive some fun prizes.
We have registered with N.A.S.A to put a hooker store on Mars, because it is a long way to and from Mars.
Remember, here at the Hooker store every hour is happy hour.
Each time you visit the Hooker store you will be given hooker stamps. You put these stamps in a hooker stamp book. Than the stamp book can be used for great gifts in our store.
Just another way we say thank you for shopping the Hooker store.
Out of shape? Sign up for our Sexercise class. You will not believe what you can do with your body.
Remember we are never a way from our desk or on the phone. So, you can always contact us.
Hooker history: Hookers were the first startup company in the Cave man era.
Come help us celebrate the birthday of the world’s oldest hooker, at the age of one hundred and ten and still going strong.
You have heard of food trucks, we have hooker trucks for your lunch hour special.
We have our own in store A.M radio station: WHOOK, 69 on your Dial, where you can get the latest hooker and event news.
Breaking News, Our Store is going public with our stock; it will be sold at twenty-five cents a share.
As an extra effort for going green, for home delivery service we will be using bicycles.
We stand by our same day Service.
We have our own in store Think Tank; we discuss how to make our store better.
We offer twenty-four-hour service with our road side fleet.
Opening soon, we will have an in-store Hooker Comedy Club, starring the best comedy hookers in the country.
If you are 65 or older you will be given a stress test to see how your body is doing.
The test will be given by one of the in-store nurses.
A Charity we support: Adopt a pigeon, to give them a home and put more fiber in their diet.
We have the first ever charging station for humans, try it out.
Coming soon from Silicon Valley, high Tec Hooker robots should be here by Christmas.
To cut down on methane gas, we do not serve beans in our cafeteria.
New Service: From store to bed.
Our entire selection of adult toys we sale are solar powered.
We have in store, E.D vending machines that dispense E.D medicine to gift you a lift.
We celebrate every Friday the thirteenth as world hooker day.
Need a vacation? Sign up for our peace on the ocean cruise.
You will be aboard the great ship S.S Hooker.
Soon we will be voting for our magazine cover, Hooker OF the Year.
Tune in on Friday on our radio station WHOOK when we have our weekly commentary group from The Hooker Institute, with their discussions about the hooker world, they always have a famous hooker as a guest.
Make sure you look for our discount coupons in your local newspaper.
In closing I will leave you with our company motto; A Hooker a day is better than an Apple a day.
! Hope To see you soon!
Paul Young: C.E.O and owner. Chapter two: Store up date.
Our first book in our book club was written by one of our own. The title is The Anatomy of a Hooker. It will be sold in our gift shop
Earn a degree at our own Hooker College and make a career change.
Student loans available, contact the store office for further information.
Were proud to announce our international Hooker Institute, for research, design, and development of hookers,
Our Public Relations Store is family owned.
There is no wall around our store, we let everyone in, so come and visit us.
We now have our own digital currency; called “Hooker Quarters”, check it out on line.
Remember, we accept competitor’s coupons.
Big News, Our Public Relations Store stock is up 50 points. Now is the time to invest.
Something New: We have started a ride sharing program, for our employees and customers, it is called by the name “Hump”
We have a new special once a month: Pick any size and only pay One Dollar.
Coming soon our own Urgent Need Center, for when we are closed. It is open twenty-four hours a day.
We now have a gaming system in store for your amusement.
It is a challenging game called “Battle of the Hookers”.
A new division has been added to our company; Hooker Casinos wear gambling takes on a new meaning, stop in and try your luck.
Remember, after every ten visits to our store you receive a free one. This is Just our way of saying thank you for shopping the Hooker Store.
No tariffs will ever be imposed by our company, and we share are Intellectual Property with everyone,
Can’t afford to shop at our store? We have an online funding program.
Just click on funding on our web site.
Remember our store motto “A Hooker a day, is better than an Apple a day. Hope to see you soon. Paul Young: Owner and C.E.O.